Love Me Forever Friend

You will love me forever as friend? Thanks to understand a while what mean of the rock I throw to your face "in your dream". The greatest dream ever! and the black part on my life.

You are the reason all of this condition. And I knew that you will there forever for me. I know that you love me in different way and different language. That is nice sometime and so painful over time. I cannot even see your face! All suddenly come together on my mind. All the story what we create together, because you let me to write it over and over again.
I was give up a while but you don't know that! Because every time I was forgot, you trigger me to remember all. When I forgot about you, suddenly you come. But I'm addicted with you, so you will always win at this game. I just too afraid to win.

You understand that I will not give up about you. Beside that you give me hope!  make me feel like you want me. But this is hard, and a lot of challenge. Challenge to be bad like what you want me to try what I say I don't care. So you put it as your key!

You take advantages of that, but I do too. Sometime I feel like that is great to love you but other time I feel like this is bad and even worse to love you!

New Neighborhood or New Stress

New neighborhood "on my mind" mean new lesson and new adventure. That will be nice if I keep my mind still positive face all this life lately. If not, that will be new stress.But there are weak point to be a girl like me, even I try so hard to keep it still positive. I will lose against myself, and I feel negative turned on. And I will stress and crazy for a time I cannot predict.

Stress in life will take more than a half of your mind. And I'm pretty sure that will take a half of my energy as well. Because I do! And what I do just eat a lot as always " indicate of stress". But I like it, because it mean new story which I can share with who you are over there read this now. I'm still say that I like be stress or crazy sometime. Why not, if you never have that your life is so boring, haha.

So! What do you think about come to new neighborhood?

Like first time I came to my first job, all is new in front of me, include new stress for sure. Because I never had experience before, they think they can do better than me and I'm still zero. At the time I feel alone because only me the fresh graduated there. All new staff have experience even in other field and even a month. They say that is better that no experience. But I'm not agree with their opinion, I'm sure I can do better. I just have to prove it to all. And I think you can see now, so never judge person if you not ever know them yet. Another case is when came to my second job, my job right now. Haha, for sure new stress, at all case just want you to stay patient in life.

I wonder with people who often move, like every year come to new school and new friend. Sometime I wanna have that case, but I don't have it. I have other story but still kind of stress of new neighorhood. We create to be adaptable with such of neighborhood and environment.

Enjoy Myself Alone

It sound desperate when I decided to write this title. I have a lot of friends, yes I have them "I think you will read this, dear my friends in everywhere in the world". I'm not desperate though, because I'm still doing something to spend my time with myself! Listening music, playing game "sometime make addicted", read a book "just if I want" look like I don't like to read ahahha, but sometime reading also make me addicted, write something, drawing, and still many things to do even no plan. I count cleaning my room too! I feel so messy as girl who have a room alone. I don't like to share my room. If I share it, I will think twice to make it messy again hahaha. Cool reason huh!

That will so enjoyable when outside sunny. I can open my door and open curtain of the window to let all sunshine come into my room. I turn on the music, singing "with my horrible voice, don't u ever wonder of my voice? Haha, everybody can sing!" and sometime a bit dance. Alone is not even worse! I enjoy it at the moment. At the moment, noticed!

I'm forget to include chat with friends on phone with some social networking media.

I go somewhere alone as well. I say that I go with my lovely motorbike, I'm not alone. I just go around like count km on speedometer. Counting road, building, people, beach. But I'm still bad be guide for other. I just can be good guide for myself. I will never lose my way even I will rid long way. Sometime I drop to someplace to look forward something to do without plan on the book. Sometime only take some photo, I will take many photos even with phone camera for right now. I just cannot imagine if I have my dream camera soon. I will so happy enjoy my day alone, if I don't need someone being my model on the photo shoot. Sound I gonna be a professional photographer. Hahaha!

What I like is to go around at the night till late night. I was enjoying my eyes on the low light, counting the bulb. That is opposite with I do at my room in the afternoon with full of sunshine. That is like black and white in live, I like to enjoy both with different feeling and different meaning.

If I read what I do with my day with no plan alone. That still hope on my life, because I'm still enjoy it till now! I agree with Ariel Leve on her book "It Could Be Worse, You Could Be Me" no plan not mean nothing to do. So like me I can suddenly have something to do with myself alone.

ENVY

What do you think about this word? ENVY

On my way to work place I just found this word on the road. Do you think that is true? I found it on the road! Like maple leaf scattered on the road!

I have a lot of perception that maybe you have on your mind as well. Just to figure out what I can say with envy. What I can think with envy. What I can do with envy. And of course what should I do with envy.

I realize that I often have this word in my life. Envy with other life? of course this is happen!

Envy is only a word but if it become jealous that will ruin your mind. But for me, envy is not only the word. it still rob my brain like zombie "though I know zombie".

I want a lot of things in life, for example : I want to travel around the world "not only me want this", but that cost  money! And  the fact is I'm not rich enough now to make it true right now. What relate with envy here, when I see other can have that all! of course make me envy.

That is only one example, but I have a lot of it. So, the simple thing make me envy too. Is that too dramatic? of course no! I try to be honest with my life. With all fact in front of my point of view.

Only me can help myself with this problem. I'm the doctor for myself. I'm sick because of envy, and only me know the right cure of it. What I want to say here, you should know who really you are! If you know that, you can play with yourself.

Why You Back To Write? – Part 2

I’m here again to write, I prove myself I’m back to write again. But this is still new spirit, so no wonder for me. If the spirit become less and if I cannot bring back my full spirit to write. It will same, I will go away from here for a while. And I don’t know when I will back here to write.

For me, I’m here just pretend like writers or journalist. So, I pretend to be cool. To prove myself “So do you think you can write?” Yes I do!.  

What I write here just bla bla bla which pass over my mind. So I’m pretty smart to write all topics, because I knew myself! I can write with my opinion. So I have my own style and no one needs to come and do editing. Maybe I need editing if I publish this into a book, not maybe but yes I need it. As you know what we need for printing. But now you can see what I do here for free.

I have a lots document of my writing. Some of them till the end, and some other still hanging or we can say “to be continue”. And what I write is depends on my mood and also the situation around. And I think many people have the same like me. Not many but only some of them. 

This is same if we want to understand what is that the meaning inside of a poems. We need to see the background of the poet, the time when the poem made, some point of view and many things other. So you will understand more clearly.

Why You Back To Write? – Part 1

It been long time not here, sometime make me miss to put my fingers on the keyboard. Write something which running so fast on my mind. Please never put black space on my mind “my wish”, even will come pretty short each one day.

Today I’m on the club near the beach at my work place with some crazy people who I think still new friends I keep in touch nowadays. Just make believe (I really like to write this “make believe” words) that you will have new story in your life anytime you come to new neighborhood. My old life still around when I’m there.  The old friends still there and they will never be ex friends even far away, just my story longer than before and still without ending. 

I’m back here to write about what on my mind after I read my life till the time I write the words. If I’m the journalist or writer, I’m sure I will often write here. But because I am not! So I’m seldom here or maybe rare is the perfect word to describe me here. 

But because I like to write too, so I’m back. Every time I’m back here, I’m sure I will here pretty often to write. But just see what will happen next!  Will same like before or I make progress with my word here like promise to myself.

Kenapa Belanda Adalah Tujuan Belajarku?

Aku termasuk dari orang Indonesia yang sangat ingin melanjutkan kuliah ke Belanda. Kenapa pilihanku Belanda? Pertama karena kualitas pendidikan di sana yang tinggi di mata dunia. Dimana dalam salah satu artikel di webside Neso, Belanda berada pada peringkat ke-3 dalam World Reputation Rankings 2012. Selain itu aku pikir akan lebih mudah untuk kita beradaptasi dengan lingkungan disana, melihat sejarah kita juga pernah menjadi jajahan Belanda.


Mendengar kata Belanda, warna oranye dan bunga tulip selalu membuat pikiran saya langsung melayang. Melayang dan berandai-andai untuk berada di sana. Apalagi melihat kenalan saya bisa berada disana untuk belajar.


Mari kita meliat curhat langsung teman saya yang sedang menjalani study di Belanda.

Dia adalah Faray anak Madura, Indonesia yang sekarang sedang mengerjakan tugas  akhirnya di Sexion University of Applied Sciences jurusan International Civil Engineering di Enschede, Belanda. Pertama yang dia jawab sewaktu saya menanyakan hal apa yang membuat dia betah belajar di Belanda adalah Belanda itu hidupnya teratur, jauh dari Negara kita Indonesia. Dia mengatakan sebenarnya banyak sekali yang membuatnya betah di sana. Alasan sebenarnya karena memang dia mendapatkan beasiswa belajar ke sana dari kampusnya di Surabaya (ITS). Kampusnya memiliki hubungan kerjasama dimana menempuh S1 selama 3 tahun di Indonesia dan setahunnya di Belanda yang nantinya akan mendapatkan dua gelar yaitu ST,BSc.

Dia berbagi dengan kita berdasarkan pengalamannya yang juga sudah mengunjungi beberapa Negara di Eropa sana. “Di Belanda itu jika dibandingkan dengan Negara Eropa yang lain jauh lebih bersih, teratur, disiplin. Bus selalu tepat waktu di menit ke 49 dan 07. Di semua tempat pasti ada 'silent place' karena orang-orang Belanda suka tempat sepi. Walau memang trasportasinya mahal. Walupun hidupnya monoton tapi tetap bagus. Albert Heijin (seperti indomart di Indonesia) hanya buka sampai jam 8 malam.”

“Mereka sangat menghargai semua hal yang berhubungan dengan alam. Pembangunann yang berkelanjutan di sana sangat bangus bahkan untuk alam dan hewan, khususnya yang berhubungan dengan air. Pengetahuan mereka terkait dengan bagaimana mengelola air sangat baik. Mereka juga selalu mendiskusikan untuk membuat tempat alami dan tempat aman untuk hidup mereka, anak mereka bahkan untuk hidup cucu mereka.”

“Di Belanda kota-kota pelajar penduduknya punya 38% pemakai sepeda, 25 % pengguna transportasi umum , 30 % pengguna mobil dan sisanya pejalan kaki. Mereka punya sistem trek sepeda yang bagus di semua kota.”

Dia merasa beruntung dan sangat bersyukur karena telah mendapat kesempatan belajar di Belanda. Dengan kesempatan Belajar di Negeri orang ini dia mendapatkan pengalaman yang benar-benar mengubah hidupnya. Dia marasa telah bisa membuka mata dengan kehidupan, yangmana dia harus berusaha dengan keras disana. Karena disana dia sendiri, jadi melakukan semuanya juga sendiri. Dia harus bisa menghadapi semua persingan sendiri.
 
Aku sempat berkata "wow"  dengan cerita yang diberikan teman saya ini. Diskusi yang dilakukan mereka adalah diskusi yang berkelanjutan memikirkan anak cucu mereka. 

 Aku semakin menggebu untuk bisa berangkat ke Belanda dan belajar di sana setelah melihat bahwa teman saya ini termasuk salah satu panitia di acara Temu Eropa.  Aku benar-benar ingin menjadi bagian di acara tersebut.